Black Friday is a phenoemena… although it started on the streets of Philadelphia in the 1950s – it has become a global fantasy really only in the last 10 years as a way of boosting sluggish Christmas sales…
So our first line of inquiry – what are we buying into?
In recent years, we have been encouraged by governments as well as retailers to keep the economy afloat… by spending… We are often offered higher credit in order to be able to do that.
What has this got to do with yoga?
It is hard to practice restraint in times of unrestraint. When the whole retail world is at the tip of your fingers and we are only one click away from gratification. And yet, this gratification is often, so often transient… And, is rarely sated.
We want the ‘thing’, we get the ‘thing’ and then how long before we want or feel we need the next ‘thing’? We could see our appetite in the modern world as insatiable – for stuff.
Practiced wisely, yoga can be the antidote to this…
Our insatiable need is certainly manipulated by the advertising world… and it is at odds with so many of the core principles that underpin the practice of yoga. However, conveniently yoga in the modern world tends to jump straight over the first limbs of yoga – the yamas and niyamas – which look at our wants, our desires and our interactions. The phenomena of Limb Number Three – Asana – is the topic of another blog!
Within the yamas and niyamas we have some yogic antidotes to Black Friday/ Cyber Monday…
I can’t really talk you out of Black Friday… and, I don’t want to be sanctimonious… I just want us to question – what do we really need?
Luckily, there are a few precepts from yoga that can guide this inner inquiry.
Aparigraha and Santosha work in tandem – the root and the blossom. Aparigraha is one of the five yamas (the first limb of yoga) and in essence it is a practice of non-attachment, although on a more subtle level it translates as non-grasping or not-holding. While Santosha, means contentment and my working definition is ‘What I Have is Enough’ .When we practice non-attachment or non-grasping, we might just start to sense that what I have is enough… and that might lead to a deeper understanding that what I am is enough…
When we do not practice aparigraha and santosha, we can see ourselves as lacking… we compare ourselves to others and what they have. This could be the seed of jealousy or greed… or hoarding. We might even start to question why they deserve certain things and we don’t. We start to have an ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality.
And we project a story on to others – if they have the things that we think would make us happy, we label them ‘happy’ and we might label them ‘successful’ because it fits our definition of happiness and success. But, we have no idea what happiness and success might mean to anyone else.
The world outside your window
Now my perspective is one who gets to choose… one who has a certain privilege, so don’t get me wrong for some people the sales are a god-send – people wait for them in order to buy things they genuinely need and would not be able to afford at other times. But, for many of us, the ‘sales’ are a compulsion – the need to get a ‘bargain’.
It’s not a bargain if you don’t need it in the first place.
And probably the most important consideration – if it’s cheap – someone else will be paying the price… the worker, producer, artisan who is getting paid below minimum wage in a sweatshop just… conveniently… out of our sight… out of mind…
Now although this is probably the most important consideration – respect and decent pay for workers and real-world awareness – that’s not really the motivation of this particular article.
I want us to look more inwards today – this need, compulsion within us…
Our need for stuff ties in directly with our sense of status and happiness… if we have a good day, we should treat ourselves… if we have a bad day we should cheer ourselves up… if the world appears to be falling apart around us… how do we numb it out? Make it go away….?As we scroll, we see a heartbreaking tragedy in one flick… and then a nice dress in the next flick and it becomes a coping mechanism… a defence mechanism…
Whether its adverts on TV or on social media – it helps us gloss over what is happening in the world – and with an instant gratification we can numb ourselves to some of the horrors… Rather than feeling the fear, we can buy something or watch a cat video…
And do you know what, there is nothing wrong with either… there is nothing wrong with wanting nice things… and there is nothing wrong with watching cat videos, but… what if we are doing those things in order to numb out our feelings?
So question your motivation… the impulse…
And yes questioning… and practicing non-aquisitiveness (another translation of aparigraha) is at odds with the world outside our window… the world we interact with each day when we get on the bus and head to work… or when we switch on the TV and absorb adverts… or when we scroll on our phones…
So Michael Stone asks us to practice ‘restraint in times of unrestraint’…
Michael Stone’s book Yoga for a World out of Balance has been my go-to for many years – I have dipped into it regularly – but this week I am going to read it again cover-to-cover. I think it is an essential read right now.
It focuses on our interconnectedness and how to navigate the challenges of unrestraint in the world around us.
“When we learn to live interdependently,” says Stone. “Wwe begin to see what we can enchance the quanlity of our lives and in doing so also better serve other beings. The quality of others’ lives has a direct impact on our wellbeing – the energy of generosity, as an antidote to acquisitiveness, establishes the reciprocal loop of happiness that occurs when we take others into account while making choices.”
When we judge ourselves based on what others have – it keeps us seeing ourselves as separate. When we judge ourselves on what we do not have – it keeps us trying to fill a hole that is unfillable. When we judge ourselves on what we do not have, we often think we are not worth it- it speaks of a lack of self worth.
To paraphrase my first teacher Amoda Maa… If we stop looking outside of ourselves for happiness and love, we can share our wholeness….
Wholeness is probably a good synonym for contentment. We feel content, when we feel whole. Santosha is one of the niyamas (the second limb of yoga) – And, I sum this up always as What I Am is Enough.
And how do we cultivate that? We cultivate santosha by practicing aparigraha – non-attachment and non-grasping.
And attachment creates judgment…
“The opposite of lack is openness and intimacy,” says Tone. “The opposite of dukkham (suffering or even this could be translated as lack) is serenity and karuna (compassion). Compassion is the reality of being with lack without seeing lack as something that needs to be filled.”
The opposite of lack is not abundance. Or maybe it is, but not in terms of wealth. Stone suggests that yoga helps us dismantle our basic mode of self-interest.
Michael Stone translates Patanjali’s sutra on aparigraha as…’Freedom from wanting unlocks the real purpose of existence.” (Patanjali 2:39)
And to me it comes full circle – back to Santosha, back to this moment…
“Contentment is just being complete in this moment. In this moment, there is just presence, there’s no past, no future. I am just happy to be here in the moment. Contentment is an attitude of the soul.” Ram Dass
Contentment – What I Have is Enough…
What I Am is Enough…
The Practice:
I have always found this inquiry from Anne Douglas very powerful… when you ‘want’ something… ask yourself…
“Are you seeking peace of mind, freedom from pain, or the feeling of being accepted? “See if you can find a deeper hunger, a longing that’s asking to be nourished,”
Will the “bargain” be a quick fix? Will it sate you? Will it fill you up? Re-fuel you? Nourish you?
Happy Bright Friday everyone!
Here’s my What I Have is Enough – Yoga Nidra Practice…
And it’s a gift…